Thingies

I think I know people who want to give me money for the PPI that I never had.

2 texts in a week.

I’ve also had an accident - must’ve been serious ‘cuz I don’t remember it - concussion ‘n all!

And over new year, some guy named Matt wanted me to join Fitness First!

I feel popular!

no..they’re all from matt. he was telling you to join a gym because he hard you worked at mcdonalds, assumed you must have had an accident be cause of your face and the ppi because he thinks someone obviously scammed you out of all the money you don’t have.

don’t hate me, hate matt.

love you Ryan xx

19 hours ago

so fucking angry

1 day ago

omfg

ordered my new sofa today. £2000. I’ll just sit here and sob

2 days ago

(Source: pleatedjeans, via its-not-a-dreamanymore)

4 days ago

so.. I’m so fed up with having short hair now I’ve gone for the deranged dancer/4 year old look for my exciting night in with the dogs

1 week ago

fattpacman:

anothergayboy:

There’s a limit for cuteness you know…

This photo will only relate to a few of my followers (if any!) but anyway, this is Cosmo Jarvis. Go look him up. He’s pretty fucking epic.

1 week ago

Look at your man. Now back at Loki. Now back at your man. Now back to Loki. Sadly, he isn’t Loki. But if he stopped using lady-scented body wash and switched to Asgard Spice, he could smell like Loki. Look down. Back up. Where are you? You’re in Asgard with the god of mischief that your man could smell like. What’s in your hand? Back at Loki. He has it. It’s a casket from Jotunheim holding two tickets to that thing you love. Look again. The tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Asgard Spice and not a lady. Loki’s on a horse.

Look at your man. Now back at Loki. Now back at your man. Now back to Loki. Sadly, he isn’t Loki. But if he stopped using lady-scented body wash and switched to Asgard Spice, he could smell like Loki. Look down. Back up. Where are you? You’re in Asgard with the god of mischief that your man could smell like. What’s in your hand? Back at Loki. He has it. It’s a casket from Jotunheim holding two tickets to that thing you love. Look again. The tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Asgard Spice and not a lady. Loki’s on a horse.

(Source: bartonesque, via thechemicalchronicles)

1 week ago

sadfag:

im definitely one of those people who would pay a prostitute to listen to me cry and talk about how much i hate my life for an hour

isn’t that what tumblr is? except we pay with pieces of our souls instead of money

(via jewgoo)

1 week ago

daisyfairy:

whenever i’m sad i remind myself that buttsex is an anagram of subtext and suddenly everything makes sense again

(via thechemicalchronicles)

1 week ago

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

enunciate:

you’re sure as hell not Jesus, but you’re saving me
thank you very much for putting faith in me
reminding me a light was once so great to be
I’m glad I made a friend that doesn’t pray for me

Cosmo Jarvis | Sure As Hell Not Jesus

(via fattpacman)

2 weeks ago

mmmm… Gay Pirates and pedos.

fattpacman:

firewuurk-eyes:

I, for some unknown reason, would like to share my oppreciation for a man by the name of Cosmo Jarvis. He has amazing tallent and deserves much higher recognition than he has. His short film, ‘The Joke’ is incredibly moving and actually made me cry (shhhhh). If anyone is reading this i would reccomend watching it. I genuinely look up to this man so much.

I concur!

This man is an absolute genius.

2 weeks ago